I took my first ever flight in November 2023. I had just gotten out of college at the time and pretty much everything was super new to me. Noida felt like a BIG city, people in office felt like BIG people and a team offsite to BLR felt like a very BIG deal.

I still kinda remember how excited I was about flying for the first time. The idea of entering an airport was very romantic and new to me. I arrived like 2+ hours before my scheduled departure time for the same reason.

Entered a plane for the first time. I was very excited to take off and in that moment it all felt very exciting. No anxiety. Very exciting.

Then at some point I got into a long distance relationship and so flights stopped being new and more like a quarterly event in my life. They started feeling like second nature.

I'd come to airport around an hour before my scheduled departure and then do all the security checks, board my plane and get off in a few hours. Everything started feeling normal. No anxiety. Super normal.

Then I got this amazing oppurtunity at some point to go to NYC. That was a dream come true ofcs. Very big deal. Love NYC.

But the only catch was that the flight to NYC, my flight to NYC was 26 hours long with a 4 hour layover at Abu dhabi. Sure it was a little more than what I would have wanted it to be but hey I was going to NYC so who cares right?

Well... yea ig. Though after 18-ish hours I was done for good. I just wanted to get off the plan at any cost and those next 3-6 hours were soo tough. I felt like I was hallucinating and I lost track of what's real and what's not.

But that's okay... I was going to NYC! It was a dream come true.

Returning back however on the other hand wasn't as exciting... and I knew that it won't be fun and so ofcs I prepared. I got myself sleeping pills for the return flight which worked so well.

But there was a catch... The return flight had a 8 hour layover in Doha. 8 hours on an airport after spending 16 hours in a flight. This was not fun. Not at all.

All my excitment about airports and flying turned into a sour memory. Every second I spent on that airport felt like a lifetime to me. Moreover I wasn't even super excited to come back to India. There's no excitment. Nothing like going to NYC.

So 8 hours layover combined with the post vacation (work vacation but you get it) blues became a very anxiety inducing experience for me.

But here's the fun part... I went to blr after that trip and I remember not having any issue with flying. But today as I am sitting here on the airport writing all this, I can feel those sour experiences coming back lol.

Maybe cause my flight is a couple of hours delayed or maybe because I know that in about 3 months I will be taking another 18hour long flight to UK when I will move out for good.

Exciting and nervous.