On taking risks

taking decisions is a very tough task, especially when those decisions have a significant (or it seems in the moment) impact on your life.

one of such decisions that i had to make recently was leaving my stable 9-5 and moving to edinburgh with a huge loan. an amount that is (most probably) larger than my entire family's net worth combined (including distant cousins).

my initial thought was that this would be a great opportunity for me as it will help me grow as an engineer and find bigger better roles and make substantially more money than i could otherwise in the same amount of time.

and then slowly i started realising how i could make the most out of it. this oppurtunity. now that im taking a risk, why not make the most of it? why not use this to do the thing that i really want to do? which in this case is robotics :D

so now i went from oh should i take this risk to yes now that i have taken it... let me make sure i do the thing that i really want to do and make the most of it.

the first half of this is scary. taking a risk is scary.

i need to pay the loan. i need to find a good job. i should go for courses that will give me the best chances of getting a job right out of university.

the second half is different. its aspirational.

i love robots and i wanna be a part of something bigger. something that involves robots and physical ai.

the reality is that its (in my opinion) easier to be an ai engineer than a robotics engineer if you're in my shoes. i have a lot more experience in ai and software and also a 3 year job experience at adobe that counts towards it. but when it comes to robotics, i have nothing to show yet. i have no real experience and i will be a fresher in the field.

now with how things have been moving in the world after the ai boom, freshers have a really hard time getting a job in anything.

so now i am the crossroads again.

should i choose ai and software or robotics and harware? one gets me better chances of a job and paying out my loan and other gets me closer to my dream and actual fulfilment.

i chose ai and software.

it's not the right choice. how do i know? because ever since i chose those courses i have not been able to stop thinking about how to change that.

i made the wrong choice.

but that's not a bad thing at all. sometimes you need to make the wrong choice to realise what's right for you.

thankfully in my case the choice is reversible. i have another week. i can still change my courses and that's exactly what im about to do.

i can't start playing it safe after acting strong while deciding to take this risk.